you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
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