my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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