I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
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