So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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