I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
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