So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
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the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
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You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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