kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
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