So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
