are you still at the devil's house?
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
