I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
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