I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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