Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Everclear isn't food dammit
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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