Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
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There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
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He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
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