Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize