also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
