so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
Randomize
