So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
You peed on a flamingo?!?
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
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