Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
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