i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
I'm getting married
To pizza
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
Randomize
