In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Randomize
