I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
