god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
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Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
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I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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