evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
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is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
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That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
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