dude i'm inner monologue high
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Randomize
