all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
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