there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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