I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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