Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
if only i could text you this smell
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
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