There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
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