Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
Randomize
