dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
