I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
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