Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Randomize
