"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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