i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
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