I'm laying in your front yard are you home
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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