I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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