no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
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