i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
operation have a gay friend backfired
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
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