he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Randomize
