Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Randomize
