Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
