I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
