I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
Randomize
