i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
Randomize