I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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