I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Randomize
