Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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