Pants 0. Shit 1.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
