The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
Randomize
