Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
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