I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize
