it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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