I wish I could punch you in the face.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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