Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Randomize
