That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Randomize
