So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
Randomize
