I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
We don't watch enough power rangers
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize