I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
