We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
Define "chronic" masturbator.
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
Randomize
