I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize
