Whats the glycemic index on semen?
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
