how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Randomize
